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Kristen believes that it is vital to focus on loving yourself first, a challenge for so many of us."Getting into a relationship means that you are giving yourself to somebody else, and you can’t give to other people if you can’t give to yourself first.

Have fun, rely on your friends, love on them, let them love you back, and fill yourself up." She encourages all of us to find healthy friends and groups to explore new lives with as we heal.

Ward emphasizes the importance of emotional intimacy and open communication."Let your partner know that you may react with fear or panic, or you may ask them to stop what they are doing.

I treated him, a man who never had and never would raise a finger to hurt me, as if he were about to turn into a monster.My actions and reactions hurt the man I loved and prevented us from deepening our bond.My desire for nourishing our relationship led me to realize that I needed to address the trauma I had unsuccessfully tried to box up in my mind.When later crossing the threshold of physical intimacy together, all of the fear and anxiety I had anticipated would be waiting for me had dissipated in the presence of a loving, respectful, and well-established relationship.Today, I still deal with issues revolving around my trauma, but partially because of this improved communication, my issues are markedly better than they were even a year or two ago.

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